Jan 19, 2015

Memories - Secanje



Memories


She sat on the cold furnace and watched the pink sky. Flakes are whitening entire city as if someone had suddenly sprinkled flour over it. Branches of trees are glitter of white decorations on the light that steal out from lighted windows. She sat huddled, wrapped in a blanket, recalling the winters days when the furnace was warm, even hot, and the room heated. Those were the days when she spend wintertime in short sleeves in an apartment that was now icy. He felt how her nose is cold from the air she breathes. She turned off the light - and there can be saved something too. Snowflakes danced their ice dancing, but she has always preferred Sun, color, and warmth.
Flakes played enthusiastically. White plush of dress slowly began to decorate of incidental passers. The steps creak in the snow. Only this creaking violates the silence of the night. Soft, fluffy, white, icy flakes like fireflies fluttering around lights.
"It will be nice, even beautiful to observe pink sky and white fairy tale if this furnace is warm as once" - he thought.
A pink sky is sprinkled town with white powder. Winter is wearing his solemn, cold white dress. Steps have made the most wonderful patterns on it that no one artist could not conceive.  The street lamps are illuminated only contours of pearl brooch. It had never been clear to her why the winter on white dress putting the pearl ornaments. Only sometimes someone snow diamond glinted on dress. White pathways lead to a pink sky. It seemed to her warm and even if it poured his cold snowflakes and created from them waving fluffy curtain. She remembered that earlier this pink sky led her to a special world, a world between dream and reality, a world where dreams become reality and the reality become the dream, where is losing the distinction between reality and imagination, where unfulfilled desires realized and dreams are comes true in a magic way, in a world where are no worries, no sadness, where is no exist "can not" and "no" to the world of light and color, in the world of daydreams. There you are sinking, losing in a strange, unreal world from which no longer want to go back. There worries lose sense; problems are solved in an instant, so easy, logical way. There time and space lose their dimensions. There are unrequited love, forgotten dreams, hopes and wishes are only concepts from another world. There happen all the things we desire, all that we hope. There we meet people we do not know, talk to the birds, and hear the speech of flowers. And feeling? This unexplainable charge of emotion takes us farther, deeper into the amazing world of daydreams. And, everything, ah, everything is so beautiful, unreal. She always wants to be in this world long, long time.
But ... but the furnace is cold. The cold in room can to cut with a knife. She felt that the cold cuts her lungs with each breath. Even the memory of the time in the beautiful land of dreaming could not warm her. Neither the memory of the delightful, clear view on the white backyard with beautiful patterns on the festive winter dress could not warm her because now she watched that from the icy cold room from cold furnace and through a network of branches that looked like to her like a prison lattice, of the cruel, cold prison.
The branch nearby the window is moved and snow began to fall down from it. Bony fingers of branches rushed to the window. She shakes with shudder and shivered under a blanket. She felt the cold breath of winter, and only she heard is the monotonous beat of watch, which reminded her that the time is inevitably passes, the count hers cold breaths, measured her shakes and comforting her that with every beat she is closer to spring.
"Springtime" it's heard her silent barely audible sigh.
She wanted to escape from that dream, to get away from that cold prison, to scream, to pray for help, but the voice freezes on the lips in a cold room. She realized that it was not a dream.
The light comes on, like flashes of the Sun. He turned toward him, her eyes full of hope glitter on her face. She raise up her hands to that Sun but cold breath of room are freezes them in the air. Quick put them under the blanket. Sparks in her eyes quenches in a moment.
"That's not the right warm, shining Sun" – she think sadly and close hers eyes.
- What are you doing on the cold furnace? Don't you see that you are shivering even under a blanket? Let's lie down and pull up.
Her blank stare turned and obediently, as if she hypnotized move to that worried voice. She trembled long, long time covered over hers head with blanket and quilts. Finally, a little warmed, with the first signs of heat she immerse in a dream that lead her to better and more beautiful place, the better, warmer and nicer tomorrow.
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Secanje


Sedela je na hladnoj peci i posmatrala ruzicasto nebo. Pahulje su zabelele celi grad kao da ga je neko odjednom posuo brasnom. Grane drveca su svetlucale od belih ukrasa na svetlosti koja se iskradala sa osvetljenih prozora. Ona je sedela scucurena, zamotana u cebe secajuci se dana kada je pec zimi bila topla, cak vrela, a soba zagrejana. Bili su to dani kada je zimu provodila u kratkim rukavima u stanu koji je sada bio leden. Osecala je koliko joj je nos hladan od vazduha koji udise. Ugasila je svetlo – i tu se moze ustedeti. Pahulje su plesale svoj ledeni ples, a ona je oduvek vise volela Sunce, boje, toplotu.
Pahulje su zanosno igrale. Beli plis haljine polako pocese da ukrasavaju slucajni prolaznici. Koraci skripe u snegu. Samo ta skripa narusava tisinu noci. Pahulje meke, bele paperjaste, ledene kao roj svitaca leprsaju oko svetiljki.
"Kako bi bilo lepo, cak prelepo posmatrati ruzicasto nebo i belu bajku da je ova pec kao nekada topla" – pomisli.
A ruzicasto nebo je posipalo grad belim prahom. Zima je obukla svoju svecanu, hladnu belu haljinu. Koraci su napravili najdivnije sare na njoj koje ni jedan umetnik ne bi mogao da osmisli. Ulicne svetiljke su osvetljavale tek konture sedefastih broseva. Nikad joj nije bilo jasno zasto zima na belu haljinu stavja sedefaste ukrase. Tek po koji snezni dijamant zasvetluca na haljini. Bele staze vodile su ka ruzicastom nebu. Ono joj je delovalo toplo i ako je sipalo svoje hladne pahulje i stvaralo od njih lelujavu paperjastu zavesu. Setila se kako ju je ranije to ruzicasto nebo vodilo u poseban svet, svet izmedju sna i jave, svet gde snovi postaju stvarnost a stvarnost san, gde se gubi granica izmedju realnosti i maste, gde se neostvarene zelje ostvaruju a snovi se ispunjavaju na magican nacin, u svet gde nema briga, nema tuge, gde ne postoji "ne moze" i "nema", u svet svetlosti i boja, u svet sanjarenja. Tu tones, gubis se u jednom cudnom, nestvarnom svetu iz koga vise ne zelis da se vratis. Tu brige gube smisao, problemi se resavaju u trenu, na tako lak, logican nacin. Tu vreme i prostor gube svoje dimenzije. Tu se nalaze neostvarene ljubavi, zaboravljeni snovi, a nada i zelje su samo pojmovi iz drugog sveta. Tu se desava sve ono sto prizeljkujemo, sve ono cemu se nadamo. Tu se upoznajemo sa ljudima koje ne poznajemo, razgovaramo sa pticama, cujemo govor cveca. A osecanja? Taj neobjasnjivi naboj emocija nas vodi sve dalje, sve dublje u taj neverovatni svet sanjarenja. I, sve, sve je tako lepo, nestvarno. Uvek je zelela da se u tom svetu sto duze zadrzi.
Ali, ... ali pec je hladna. U sobi hladnocu mozes da seces nozem. Osecala je kako joj ta hladnoca reze pluca sa svakim udisajem. Cak ni secanje na put u predivnu zemlju sanjarenja nije mogao da je ugreje. Ni secanje na divan, jasan pogled na belo dvoriste sa predivnim sarama na svecanoj zimskoj haljini nije moglo da je ugreje jer je sada je sve to posmatrala iz ledene sobe sa hladne peci i kroz mrezu granja koje joj je licilo na resetke zatvora, okrutnog, hladnog zatvora.
Grana ispred prozora se pomeri i sneg poce da pada sa nje. Koscati prsti grane pohrlise ka prozoru. Ona se strese od jeze i zadrhta ispod cebeta. Osetila je hladni dah zime. Cula je samo monotone otkucaje sata koji je potseti da vreme neumitno prolazi, broji njene hladne udisaje, meri njena podrhtavanja i tesi je da sa svakim njegovim otkucajem je bliza prolecu.
"Prolece" – ote joj se tihi jedva cujni uzdah.
Htela je da pobegne iz tog sna, da pobegne iz tog hladnog zatvora, da vrisne, da moli za pomoc, ali se glas zaledi na usnama u hladnoj sobi. Shvatila je da to nije san.
Svetlo se upali, zabljesta kao Sunce. Okrete se ka njemu, a oci joj zacaklise pune nade. Ruke se pruzise ka tom Suncu ali ih dah hladne sobe ukoci i zaledi u vazduhu. Brzo ih vati pod cebe. Iskre u ocima se ugasise.
"To nije ono pravo toplo, sjajno Sunce" – pomisli tuzno zatvorivsi oci.
-            Sta radis na toj hladnoj peci? Zar ne vidis da sva drhtis i ispod cebeta? Hajde da legnes i pokrijes se.
Njen prazan pogled se okrete i poslusno, kao hipnotisana podje ka tom zabrinutom glasu. Dugo je drhtala pokrivena preko glave ispod cebeta i jorgana. Najzad se malo zagreja, a sa prvim znacima toplote utonu u san koji je povede na lepse i bolje mesto, u bolje, toplije i lepse sutra.
By DeeDee

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